tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-183171442024-02-03T07:55:25.052-08:00Michael Melcher Reports ...Michael Melcherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01297275080951139132noreply@blogger.comBlogger63125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317144.post-35326103246749384312009-04-10T18:10:00.000-07:002009-04-10T18:11:41.413-07:00Don't forget -- I'm now at www.thecreativelawyer.comWorld,<br /><br />Just a reminder that all my posting is now at <a href="http://www.thecreativelawyer.com">The Creative Lawyer</a>. Click on over!Michael Melcherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01297275080951139132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317144.post-81570864201482567262008-07-10T16:07:00.000-07:002008-07-10T16:10:14.699-07:00Inspirer'd in ParisI have come to Gay Paree to conduct a coaching workshop at Davis Polk & Wardwell, the law firm where, back in the day, I worked as an associate. My workshop was called “Beyond Staying or Going: The Creative Lawyer Approach to Managing Your Career (While in Your Career)” and it’s basically about all the things you need to know to be successful and fulfilled in your career that have nothing to do with the actual practice of law. It follows my core philosophy that if you spend all day just doing your job, you’ll never get anywhere!<br /><br />After checking into the delightful Hotel de Sers and taking a much-needed disco nap, I sought out the local Bikram Yoga studio. Soon I was getting hot and sweaty a la francaise. Though I have occasional iss-shoes with the Bikram Chowdury personality cult, there is nothing like a 90-minute workout in 100-degree heat to overcome jet-lag and eliminate the residual effects of sitting in a basically gross airplane. Plus, it turns out to be a great way to practice French vocabulary! Bikram yoga teachers use exactly the same monologue in every class no matter where in the world it’s taught, so it’s pretty easy to follow along.<br /><br />“<span style="font-style:italic;">Inspirer, expirer</span>,” the teachers chanted. Breath in, breath out. “<span style="font-style:italic;">Inspirer, expirer</span>.” They said this about 500 times. <br /><br />As I did my standing head to knee pose, being told to <span style="font-style:italic;">inspirer</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">expirer</span>, I recalled reading that that the word “inspire” comes from the Latin word for “breath.” We mostly think of inspiration as something that comes from within us, but the other way of looking at it is that inspiration is something we bring into our lives from the outside world. It’s not something we think up, but something that is waiting to be let in. Foreign travel is inspirational to me for just this reason – when I travel, I breathe in the world. <br /><br />When my coaching clients ask me how they are supposed to figure out what they really want to do with their lives, I sometimes advise them to think of their search as a treasure hunt, as opposed something they are supposed to contemplate. Instead of looking for the answer inside you, you’re often better off looking for it out in the world. You’re most likely to find it by going out, having a bunch of experiences, and seeing what you see. As I have written in <a href="http://www.abanet.org/abastore/index.cfm?section=main&fm=Product.AddToCart&pid=1610160">my book</a>, when it comes to career development, thinking is vastly overrated!<br /><br />The next time you’re looking for inspiration, let yourself get inspirer’d. Open up your lungs, breathe in what the world offers, and and see where that gets you.Michael Melcherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01297275080951139132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317144.post-39530168703280869862008-04-13T17:48:00.000-07:002008-04-13T17:49:40.518-07:00So very clever!Check out Jessica's Hagy's site, <a href="http://www.indexed.blogspot.com">Indexed</a>, in which she cleverly uses graphs and Venn diagrams to illustrate funny social insights. My favorite is the <a href="http://indexed.blogspot.com/2007/05/sure-sure.html">"Tax Fraud vs. Online Dating Fraud" graph</a>.Michael Melcherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01297275080951139132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317144.post-35757247502663042192008-02-19T08:01:00.000-08:002008-02-19T08:02:10.523-08:00Go ahead, write that letter to the editor!I am a graduate of Valencia High School, a reasonably ordinary high school in Placentia, California. This is the northern part of Orange County, the more diverse and less affluent section that is never seen on shows like "The O.C." Until recently, we had no famous grads. Now we have one and a half. Michael Chang, the tennis player, attended for a couple of years before getting his G.E.D. Congresswoman Linda Sanchez is also a graduate. And then there's me!<br /><br />My sister, Jocelyn, who is also a lawyer, graduated from VHS as well. She lives in Henderson, Nevada which is just outside of Las Vegas and, until recently, was America's fastest growing city. Check out her <a href="http://www.lvrj.com/opinion/15760582.html ">brilliant letter to the editor of her local paper</a>, in response to a vicious editorial against Hillary Clinton.<br /><br />Not everyone can write an intelligent, punchy letter to the editor. So if there's a topic that you feel passionate about, go for it.Michael Melcherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01297275080951139132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317144.post-27898110113992346572008-02-02T11:29:00.000-08:002008-02-02T11:31:25.964-08:00People and their iss-shoesDespite my generally loving and accepting nature, there are a couple of ways in which I discipline my coaching clients:<br /><br />-- I don't let clients use the phrase "don't get me started..." To me this phrase (usually preceded by a dramatic sigh) suggests someone who spends a lot of a lot of time living in and talking about their problems rather than moving out of them. (If I'm speaking with someone in a thinking-about-coaching call and they use that phrase, I gently lead them away from me. Not a scene I want to get into.) <br /><br />-- I don't let clients talk about their "issues," as in the phrase, "Well, my <span style="font-style:italic;">issue</span> with that is . . ." and "One of my <span style="font-style:italic;">issues</span> is . . ."<br /><br />Why am I such a hard-ass with this phrase? I think it's because I believe the process of analyzing and listing one's issues encourages a type of preciousness that is not conducive to moving forward in life or to being particularly useful to the world. <br /><br />Once someone has defined and catalogued their set of issues, said <span style="font-style:italic;">issues</span> seem to become part of their self-concept. They start drawing a sense of personal distinctiveness from their problems, as opposed to their positive qualities. I sometimes call this "The Princess and the Pea Syndrome." You know, you're special because if there is just one pea underneath twenty mattresses you'll wake up black and blue. Since you have royal blood. In other words, the sign of your specialness is that you have unique needs, pains and sensitivities. <br /><br />This is just not true. Negative stuff does not make you special. Your talents and hopes make you special. Your iss-shoes do not. <br /><br />Okay, all that notwithstanding, I recently did a fun interview with <a href="http://www.abanet.org/media/youraba/200801/">the American Bar Association e-letter</a> about some common lawyer iss-shoes. Check out the cool graphic, too.<br /><br />(Speaking of iss-shoes, I have an <span style="font-style:italic;">issue</span> with nonstandard use of grammar. It really bugs me and I don't hesitate to correct people. Today I am violating my own policies -- I am aware that in my preceding paragraphs I used "they" as a singular pronoun rather than he or she. For today only, I'm giving up that battle.)Michael Melcherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01297275080951139132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317144.post-31870156182507242282008-01-12T15:50:00.000-08:002008-01-12T15:55:57.651-08:00In case you wonder what might have happened had you gone to medical school . . .You know what feels really good? When you meet someone you knew like twenty years ago who took a totally different path, and then you reconnect in some meaningful way.<br /><br />This has happened recently on several fronts. For instance, I just spoke yesterday to my first boss, who hired me for an internship in 1986. (I know, not every six-year old is hired for a post-college internship but there you go.)<br /><br />Another example is when I reconnected with my friend, <a href="http://www.paulinechen.typepad.com/">Pauline Chen</a>, first at a dinner several years ago in Palo Alto, and most recently this past fall when we both coincidentally published our books. Hers just came out in paperback: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Final-Exam-Surgeons-Reflections-Mortality/dp/030727537X/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1200181335&sr=8-1">Final Exam: A Surgeon's Reflections on Mortality</a>. It's earned rave review, deservedly so.Michael Melcherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01297275080951139132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317144.post-2677777953204089632008-01-10T18:35:00.000-08:002008-01-10T18:43:43.835-08:00Rekindling the 11-year old financial mastermind that lives somewhere inside meLong-term observers of Michael Melcher are probably aware that in 1974 I was Paperboy of the Year for Scottsdale, Arizona. Actually the official title was "Carrier-Salesman of the Year" and the paper in question was <span style="font-style:italic;">The Scottsdale Daily Progress.</span><br /><br />I was simultaneously a very sincere and determined paperboy, and a crafty one. I never missed a delivery, and at the same time plotted things like making homemade Christmas cards for my customers on the theory I would get higher tips. <br /><br />Looking back, it's clear that I had a very entrepreneurial bent. I grew my route from my starting number of 37 customers to a high of 168, saved money, bought stocks (seriously), and lent my mom $600 when we moved to California the following year. This is an interesting memory for me since I tend to compare my financial skills unfavorably to those of the various bankers, venture capitalists and internet zillionaires that were my classmates in the Stanford MBA class of 1993. <br /><br />What's my point here? I think it's that whatever we think is the truth about ourselves may not be the full truth. And whatever identity we have is probably just one of the many potential identities available to us, should we decide we'd like to shake things up.<br /><br />I am having these ponderous thoughts after doing an interview for a cool website called QueerCents, which is a bunch of GLTB financial advisors -- who cleverly have realized that putting real, useful content on a site is more interesting than just having a bunch of people talk. They have a "Ten Money Questions" series that is interesting. Here is <a href="http://www.queercents.com/2008/01/04/ten-money-questions-for-michael-melcher/">their interview of me.</a>Michael Melcherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01297275080951139132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317144.post-19557143843608462282008-01-10T18:19:00.000-08:002008-01-10T18:33:42.076-08:00Year-end review, with yourselfHere's the interesting thing about writing. You never know how something is going to come out until you write it. And you never know how it will resonate with the rest of the world until you put it out there. Okay, I guess that's two things.<br /><br />A couple of weeks ago I did a guest-post on Marci Alboher's blog at the NYT, <a href="http://shiftingcareers.blogs.nytimes.com/">Shifting Careers.</a> (A most excellent blog, by the way, independent of my own participation.) <br /><br />I wrote this particular post during a recent visit to my mom's house in the burbs of San Diego County (San Marcos, California, to be precise -- a little prefab town that oddly has its own Bikram yoga studio). "Hmm," I thought. "What could I write that could be useful. Maybe some kind of exercise." I thought back to an exercise I did with my friend Polly on a Hawaii vacation three years before. "Well, I guess I could try that," I mused. I wrote it up, edited it down, and sent it off to Marci, with a not untypical email message to the effect that if she thought it sucked, I could try something else.<br /><br />She loved it and posted it. It became widely read. It generated a number of strange ad hominem attacks and revealed that there is a certain sector of the population that has great hostility toward things like setting goals and in particular toward yoga bootcamp (which was merely a casual mention in the post but generated an extended argument about the divorce settlement of Elizabeth Gilbert, author of <span style="font-style:italic;">Eat, Pray, Love</span>. I know, kind of weird.)<br /><br />But traffic continued to grow. I know, because I obsessively check the visiting stats for this blog as well as my somewhat duplicative but slightly different blog, <a href="http://www.thecreativelawyer.com">The Creative Lawyer</a>. Lots of potential client contacted me, as well as people I worked with more than ten years ago. It made the top ten emailed articles on the biz section. Which isn't the top ten overall, but still! Some people wrote on their own blogs about how they actually did the exercise, which made me very happy.<br /><br />Anyhow, the point of all this is: you never know. If you feel the inkling of creativity, just do it. Reach into the well and see what's there, and then with a deep breath send it out to the world.<br /><br />Oh, <a href="http://shiftingcareers.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/12/26/year-end-review-with-yourself/?ex=1214370000&en=44134548c06f3d6f&ei=5087&excamp=NYT-E-I-NYT-E-AT-1">here is that cool invented-in-Hawaii exercise. </a>The point is to look at the previous year before moving on to the next one. It's a method of taking you through the year to get clear on what, in hindsight, was meaningful to you. My favorite web post that I read about this was on a blog called <a href="http://maigrey.livejournal.com/506491.html">Maigrey</a>:"I'm astonished how unimportant the various men I've dated are. Seriously. Some not even mentioned, and not a one of them underlined. On the other hand, my lady friends got hearts." <br /><br />Try it. It's fun and it works.Michael Melcherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01297275080951139132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317144.post-11179148939286016442007-12-16T11:40:00.001-08:002007-12-16T11:40:59.976-08:00Take it from the striking Hollywood writers ... December is a great time to network!I have parachuted into L.A. for a few days to visit, among others, my friend Henry who was once a lawyer and is now a glamorous TV writer. However, just moments after he inked his new deal with a certain well-known star's production company, the Writers' Guild went on strike. So now he has to work that picket line. <br /><br />It does not surprise me at all that, amongst the various striker antics (like Star Trek-themed day) the strike itself is turning out to be a great networking event. Because, basically, when you have a lot of verbal people hanging around for hours at a time every day, they end up getting to know each other a lot better.<br /><br />One of the hazards of being any kind of entrepreneur (and writers are basically entrepreneurs) is that it's very easy to get isolated. Especially when you have to turn out the next episode of a show that's already jumped the shark, like Desperate Housewives. ("Let's see, we've given Lynette cancer and had a tornado come out of nowhere. Wait, I've got it! We'll send Carlos to Thailand for a botched a sex-change operation!") Networking is one way to counteract this isolation. It helps people keep up on relevant information, forge connections, and brainstorm possibilities, and writers need it as much as anyone else.<br /><br />You don't have to be a glamorous striking writer spending his days chatting up Valerie Harper (as my friend was doing last week) to be a good networker. Just spend some time accessing some of your weaker ties (people you don't know all that well or whom you used to know but have fallen out of touch with).<br /><br />There's a misconception that you can't do much job-related networking in December, since people stop working, go off to wherever they came from, and in general spend their days in the swamp of holiday commercialism. But actually, December is a great time for networking. Whoever is left in town isn't really doing all that much work and the upcoming New Year has made people a bit more reflective of where life is taking them. If you manage to get in touch with them, they are probably available for conversation. Since the normal rhythms of professional life are off it's a good chance to mix things up a little bit. <br /><br />Facebook can wait, people. And so can that shelf take-down memorandum. Get off your computer and get out there in the world and connect!Michael Melcherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01297275080951139132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317144.post-65977639437222190882007-12-09T16:50:00.000-08:002007-12-09T16:53:01.895-08:00Hillary Clinton, misunderstood INTJHillary Clinton is an introvert. I'm quite sure about this. My best guess is that, in Myers-Briggs terms, she is an INTJ (details below). This explains a lot about how the world regards her and why the press seems to find her so problematic.<br /><br />Let me start backwards. In today's New York Times, <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/09/us/politics/09clinton.html?ex=1354942800&en=e91c37640062f9eb&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink">a lengthy article about Hillary Clinton's political persona</a> ends by comparing Hillary and Bill at the eulogy of one of Hillary's best friends, Diane Blair. Hillary gave a great eulogy, but apparently it wasn't tearful enough. "It was left to Bill Clinton to bring the service to its emotional peak," the article concludes. "When he spoke of Mrs. Blair, Mr. Clinton wept. 'I felt about her as I have rarely felt about anyone,' he said. His wife, Diane Blair's best friend, held steady in the front row.'" <br /><br />Presumably, what writer Mark Leibovich would like us to conclude is: "oooh, yet again Hillary is so cold and emotionally flat. Oooh, what a strange person she is."<br /><br />What I concluded was, "yeah, big duh, Mark Leibovich. Hillary is an introverted thinker, and Bill is an extraverted feeler, and each was behaving in a style appropriate to his or her type."<br /><br />According to the theory behind the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), each of us uses four different types of mental processes, each of which has two poles: introversion/extraversion, intuition/sensing, thinking/feeling and perceiving/judging. We have access to all of these functions, but we tend to prefer one of each pair. This theory is unprovable, but in my personal and work experience, it is valid. <br /><br />Introversion/extraversion refer to where people get their energy. Extraverts get their energy from other people, the external world, and experiences. Introverts get their energy from themselves or their own space. Extraverts are often chatty, social and open; introverts are often quiet, reflective and contained. Introverts open up to their close friends; extraverts open up to everyone. Bill Clinton is clearly an extravert; I think Hillary is an introvert. <br /><br />Since 75% of the population is extraverted, extraverts are considered normal. By comparison, introverts are considered a little weird ("why can't you just open up?"). (As I’ve written in <a href="http://www.thecreativelawyer.com">The Creative Lawyer</a>, law is an exception: the majority of lawyers are introverts.) Introverts often have to feign extraversion to succeed in the professional world; their natural style is often not valued. Much of the criticism of Hillary Clinton's authenticity is criticism of her introversion. She's basically criticized for being private and for being careful about her words; and then she's criticized for inauthenticity when she tries to act more extraverted and social. <br /><br />The second Myers-Briggs function is intuition vs. sensing. Intuitives look for concepts, the big picture, and possibilities. Sensing types are more interested in facts, details and concrete reality. Hillary has some strong sensing skills but my guess that she, like Bill, is an intuitive abbreviated as "N").<br /><br />The third Myers-Briggs function is thinking vs. feelings. Both of these are ways of thinking. Thinkers prefer to make decisions based on impartial, objective principles, whereas feelers prefer to make decisions based on strongly held personal values or the effect on other people. Thinkers tend to think logically; feelers tend to think associatively. Though Hillary talks a lot about her values, I think that she, like the vast majority of lawyers and virtually all the men running for president (with the possible exception of John Edwards), is a thinker. Bill is a feeler.<br /><br />Around 60% of women are feelers, and around 60% of men are thinkers. This means that both Hillary and Bill are in the minority for their particular gender. This is where the press gets wigged out. The words commonly used to describe presidential presence are all thinker-ish: strong, clear-headed, tough, questioning, blah blah blah. So the press is constantly evaluating whether she's enough of a thinker to be president. At the same time, the press seems discomfited that Hillary is not more girly: they also want her to be compassionate, open, nuanced -- apparently she is supposed to cry at eulogies.<br /><br />The final Myers-Briggs polarity is judging/perceiving. This refers to attitudes about closure. People with a preference for judging like to be scheduled, organized, and know where they stand; people with a preference for perceiving are more spontaneous and open-ended. Hillary is a J, Bill is a big P.<br /><br />Conclusion: Hillary Clinton: INTJ. Bill Clinton: ENFP.<br /><br />What's the point? Since Hillary is in the spotlight, more or less 24/7, people assume that everything she does has some core meaning that has implications for her potential presidency or her character. But sometimes Hillary is justMichael Melcherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01297275080951139132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317144.post-43466993971285393562007-12-06T20:37:00.000-08:002007-12-06T20:39:11.980-08:00And now, eleven minutes of the mellifluous vocal stylings of Michael Melcher . . . . My ABA podcast has arrived!The ABA Publishing homepage has a podcast featuring ME, talking about my book, lawyers, and how intelligent people can attain work happiness. <a href="http://www.abanet.org/abastore/index.cfm">Click here</a> to go to the home page, then just follow the directions to listen.<br /><br />Special thanks goes to my high school speech and debate coach, Mr. John DeNike! All that articulateness is the direct result of those many thousands of hours of preparation back at Valencia High School. Hooray.Michael Melcherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01297275080951139132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317144.post-33274169339930393702007-11-10T08:37:00.000-08:002007-11-10T08:38:50.755-08:00Ivanka Trump? Michael Melcher? What's the connection?A couple of months ago I sat behind Ivanka Trump on a flight from Newark to Hong Kong.<br /><br />At the time, I didn't realize that the tallish blonde person in front of me was the daughter of The Donald. She seemed nice enough, pretty smart, a little chatty on the cellphone while we waited to depart, though no more so than the average contemporary flyer. I remember guessing that she either worked in finance or was a kind of high-end real-estate lady.<br /><br />I only discovered her celebrity identity a day or so later. <a href="http://thecreativelawyer.typepad.com/the_creative_lawyer/2007/11/when-its-okay-n.html">Click here for the continuing saga!</a>Michael Melcherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01297275080951139132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317144.post-40739226623293773202007-11-08T08:45:00.000-08:002007-11-08T08:48:03.978-08:00Why I am inspired by the lawyers of PakistanMy thoughts (and a cool photo), <a href="http://thecreativelawyer.typepad.com/the_creative_lawyer/2007/11/pakistans-lawye.html">here</a>.Michael Melcherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01297275080951139132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317144.post-36619045504787202642007-11-08T08:37:00.001-08:002007-11-08T08:40:25.253-08:00In Which I Offer the Readers of the NYT a Good Exercise to Figure Out What to Do With Their LivesI'm a guest-blogger on Marci Alboher's Shifting Careers blog at the NYT.com. <a href="http://shiftingcareers.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/10/18/a-zagat-style-approach-to-your-career/">Check out</a> the cool exercise.Michael Melcherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01297275080951139132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317144.post-87929586735650319202007-11-05T13:00:00.000-08:002007-11-08T08:49:06.197-08:00How do you say studly? Perhaps "letter published in the Sunday NYT"The NYT published <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/04/opinion/l04lawyers.html?ex=1351828800&en=6e0d90cd0ea6b6f7&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink">my letter to the editor</a> in this week's Sunday edition. It turns out that when you are in the Sunday NYT you get more blog traffic and your amazon sales number goes way up! I briefly elbowed Judge Judy aside for the most-purchased legal practice book.Michael Melcherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01297275080951139132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317144.post-63529392904006079492007-10-06T19:59:00.001-07:002007-10-06T20:02:26.505-07:00Meanwhile, in another part of the blogosphere...Check out my snazzy new book-related blog (which, ahem, tends to have most of the same posts as this one), <a href="http://www.thecreativelawyer.com">The Creative Lawyer</a>. And don't worry if you're not a lawyer––the fresh, punchy content is suitable to anyone interested in improving life and career! And who likes to travel and think.Michael Melcherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01297275080951139132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317144.post-34839604064164733042007-10-06T08:33:00.000-07:002007-11-08T08:35:24.843-08:00P's Have More FunAre you familiar with the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator? It’s a personality assessment instrument that’s based on the theories of Karl Jung, and it has pretty much permeated the professional world. This is the instrument that measures you on the parameters of introvert/extravert, intuitive/sensing, feeling/thinking and perceiving/judging.<br /><br />Read the rest <a href="http://thecreativelawyer.typepad.com/the_creative_lawyer/2007/10/ps-have-more-fu.html">here</a>.Michael Melcherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01297275080951139132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317144.post-9799791569809299262007-10-02T13:42:00.000-07:002007-10-02T13:44:03.467-07:00Create a Right-Brain FileWhen people come to me to figure out what to do with the rest of their lives, they typically arrive with one of two mindsets. Either they have lots of ideas, and don’t know how to figure out which one they should pursue; or they don’t have any ideas at all, and want to get some. <br /><br />One method that can help you, regardless of what category you are in, is to create a “Right-Brain File.”<br /><br />A Right-Brain File is a way to collect data that you aren’t ready to process. It’s a way to let your subconscious do the work for you. A Right-Brain File is based on the premise that applying your analytical skills, alone, won’t get you the life you want. As I wrote in my recent book, <a href="http://www.abanet.org/abastore/index.cfm?section=main&fm=Product.AddToCart&pid=1610160">The Creative Lawyer</a>, when it comes to creating a great life, thinking is overrated. That’s where the Right-Brain File comes in. It’s a way of thinking without, well, thinking.<br /><br />What you put into your Right-Brain File is anything that tickles your fancy. It could be an article, a photo, a travel brochure, an email, an overheard snatch of dialogue. My Right-Brain File consists mainly of articles, but that’s just me. What you put into your Right-Brain File might excite you, it might intrigue you, it might make you boil with envy, it might make you just say, “huh.” There’s something there, you’re just not sure what. And the key is: don’t think about it. Just put it in the file. <br /><br />Later, once your file has grown, take a look at what you’ve collected. What do you see? Any patterns, inspirations, insights? What you have is a record of what your right brain—the intuitive, associative, non-logical part of you—has noticed. It’s been noticing things, even if you haven’t been able to put words around it. Indeed, sometimes avoiding putting words around your impulses is one of the best ways to let them develop. <br /><br />Create a Right-Brain File, and see what your mind comes up with when it’s not thinking. Here’s what I put into <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/01/world/01clinton.html?ex=1348977600&en=85e25e1125bf1831&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink">my Right-Brain File</a> yesterday morning. <br /><br />What’s in yours?Michael Melcherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01297275080951139132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317144.post-86521912081899629612007-09-16T17:15:00.001-07:002007-09-16T17:17:36.777-07:00Have you been upgraded to the Valley Wing (and not realize it)?When I was checking into the Shangri-La Hotel in Singapore a couple of weeks ago, I asked the front-desk person, “Is it possible to get a room with one king-size bed rather than two double beds?” I get kind of creeped out sleeping by myself in rooms with two beds.<br /><br />He looked doubtful. But then after clicking on his computer for a few minutes, he announced that he could comply with my request and that I’d been upgraded to the Valley Wing.<br /><br />“That’s nice,” I said, though the phrase “Valley Wing” meant nothing to me. Still, you gotta love the word “upgrade.”<br /><br />My room in the Valley Wing was really nice. Extremely spacious and sort of classic-looking but brand new at the same time. The bathroom was divine. There were many interesting things to investigate, like the automatic blackout curtains and shoeshine kit.<br /><br />Since I was spending a relatively large percentage of my earnings upgrading my airfare and hotel, I decided that economizing was in order. So, the next morning I made coffee in my room with the free coffee provided, and deferred eating until later. Internet access was free in the lobby, so I hung out for some time in the lovely gilded Valley Wing lobby checking up on things. Several times I was asked by the exquisitely coiffed lobby hostesses if I would like a coffee, cappuccino or tea, but I smilingly resisted their blandishments. I didn’t want to spend seven bucks for a cup of coffee after spending three hundred dollars a night on my room.<br /><br />The second morning I splurged on the breakfast buffet, since felt it important to be well-nourished in order to perform several hours of workshops. I’ve seen a lot of breakfast buffets in my time, but nothing like what the Shangri-La provided. It really defies description. There were a lot of food choices, very artfully provided. It cost about forty bucks, but I felt it was a reasonable investment.<br /><br />The fourth morning, as I checked email in the lobby, I was again asked if I would like something. My workshops done, I decided to treat myself with a cappuccino. The cappuccino came in a little Wedgwood cup, with a glass of water and a cookie on the side. Yummy! Afterwards, I asked for whatever I needed to sign. <br /><br />“No, sir, there’s nothing to sign.” It turned out beverages were free in the lobby of the Valley Wing.<br /><br />The fifth and final morning, since I was flying later in the day, I again went to the breakfast buffet. However, I wanted to be intentional about my spending. After the waiter asked for my room number, I asked, “Do you have an a la carte menu?”<br /><br />“We do have an a la carte menu,” the elegantly dressed waiter said. “But you are staying in the Valley Wing and your breakfast is included. So you can have the buffet if you want. Either way.”<br /><br />So there you have it. All week I had been resisting the offers and entreaties of the Shangri-La. “Not for me,” I’d thought, marveling at my self-control and financial focus. “I’m spending three hundred dollars a night and not a penny more!” Yet all along, the free, lovingly made beverages and buffets were mine for the taking. It just never occurred to me that such things were possible.<br /><br />It’s easy to think that we are only going to get things in life if we struggle for them, and that the outside world is our opponent rather than our collaborator. But what if it’s more complex than that? What if we’ve already been upgraded to the Valley Wing? What if the world is waiting, in some way, to help and support us. Can we let ourselves see it?Michael Melcherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01297275080951139132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317144.post-10164752127807966632007-09-08T12:49:00.000-07:002007-09-08T12:53:05.154-07:00What I learned from Madeleine L'EngleHere’s what I learned from reading the obituary of Madeline L’Engle, the author of <span style="font-style:italic;">A Wrinkle in Time</span>, who recently passed away at age 88: she didn’t write this massively bestselling book until after she was 40. In fact, in her thirties her writing career was going so badly that she thought she might give it up. The novel itself was rejected 26 times before finding a publisher. How’s that for inspiration?<br /><br />If you haven’t read <span style="font-style:italic;">A Wrinkle in Time</span>, you have missed out on one of the great experiences of childhood. It is practically the awesomest book ever. So go out and get a copy! <br /><br />I can still remember how I felt in fourth grade when Mrs. Thacher read our class a chapter each afternoon after lunch to help us cool down. (This was at Navajo Elementary in Scottsdale, Arizona; given the midday temperatures lunch recess resulted in my daily entering a state of heat exhaustion and borderline mental illness). As she read the novel, I was transported. <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">A Wrinkle in Time</span> is a book that’s both intense and easy to read. It’s about a girl named Meg who steps through a tesseract – a wrinkle in time – to a parallel universe in order to find her missing father, who despite his PhD can’t save himself. Meg is accompanied on this journey by her eerie genius 6-year old brother Charles Wallace. They meet characters named Mrs. Who, Mrs. Whatsit and Mrs. Which, and find a planet run by an evil force where all the children creepily bounce balls with exactly the same rhythm. Lots of other stuff happens. <br /><br />Now that I think about it, Meg’s journey is sort of a metaphor for career growth and transition. She’s plunged into uncertainty and weirdness, her parents can’t really help her, and she gradually discovers that she has talents she’s never really seen or valued. The whole journey is scary and dangerous but far better than living on the planet of people who bounce balls with exactly the same rhythm! <br /><br />When asked in an interview how she came up with the idea for <span style="font-style:italic;">A Wrinkle in Time</span>, L’Engle said, “I think that fantasy must possess the author and simply use him.” She then added, “I cannot possibly tell you how I came to write it. It was simply a book I had to write. I had no choice.” <br /><br />When reading this quote I thought of myself. I thought of the time I have spent wondering why I’ve made the decisions I have, both in work and love – basically why am me, as I am, rather than a different version of me. <br /><br />What if we thought about the ways life possesses us rather than always thinking about how we are supposed<span style="font-style:italic;"></span> to possess it? In other words, what is sometimes life is in charge rather than us? <br /><br />Focusing on what we can do in our lives – as they are now -- rather than endlessly wondering why we are here, or why we’re not somewhere else – opens up possibilities. Maybe you can write a book that goes into (literally) 69 printings. Or maybe you can just bounce your ball to your own personal rhythm.Michael Melcherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01297275080951139132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317144.post-49695528545936006822007-09-01T21:26:00.000-07:002007-09-01T21:30:11.944-07:00How jet lag can improve your lifeI’ve popped over to Singapore to do some workshops for the <a href="http://www.nus.edu.sg/">National University of Singapore</a> business school. With a 12-hour time difference, you can’t really fight jet lag – you just have to give into it. But jet lag isn’t all bad.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The mindful pleasures of ironing</span><br /><br />What do you do when you are fully awake at 4:30 am, before all the lovely amenities of the <a href="http://www.shangri-la.com/">Shangri-La Hotel</a> have opened? I ironed my clothes. Slowly and carefully, since I had a lot of time to kill. First my suit and tie; then all my dress shirts; then my jeans. I lovingly attended to every ironing detail. And you know what? I felt really happy. <br /><br />Mindfulness is being in the moment. “Now I am ironing,” the mindful mind observes. “Now I am turning the sleeves inside out because I once heard that’s what you are supposed to do. Now I am attending to the collar. I am doing these things rather than thinking about global warming, or whether I will forget my passport when I check out.” <br /><br />Buddhism holds that the monkey mind is always part of ourselves—the monkey mind being the voice that constantly judges and raises points of dissatisfaction. The way to freedom is not to talk ourselves out of vexing questions, but to rise above them by attending to the moment. In this case, ironing.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">New frontiers of exercise and community</span><br /><br />After a big travel stint last year, I ended up with back pain, weird sleep patterns, and, let’s be honest, constipation. So I decided to go to a Bikram Yoga class since there is a Bikram studio in Singapore.<br /><br />Normally when I think about going to a hot sweaty 90 minute yoga class, I mentally seesaw for several hours asking myself should I go, will I like it, is there enough time. But with jet lag, I had a lot of time as well as great urgency to do something constructive. <br /><br />So I went, and it was awesome. “Say hello to Michael from New York, everybody,” the peppy instructor said. I sweated through my bad airplane juju energy, and felt great. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Time to be and time to plan</span><br /><br />When your body clock is off, you don’t automatically fall into the normal work, socialize, check email routine of our lives. You have a fair number of hours when you are just hanging out. <br /><br />So after a lapse of several months, I returned to journaling my Artist Way-inspired “morning pages.” I also spent a fair amount of time planning and replanning my day, to make sure I could do all the cool things that Singapore has to offer – taking advantage of delicious street food (which, in Singapore, is arranged in nice clean indoor food courts) and planning my trip to the Singapore Zoo’s night safari. Plus getting ready for my workshops. The end result was that I felt ready for my days, because I’d taken time just to reflect and anticipate, rather than just to jump in and bounce from activity to activity. <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Jet lag can make you gorgeous!</span><br /><br />You can curse jet lag or you can cheer it. Notwithstanding the great street food, I haven’t been all that hungry so I’ve eaten lightly. Plus I went to Bikram Yoga three times. So I’ve lost like five pounds. So now I’m coming back confident and trim rather than bloated and regretful. Hooray for jet lag!Michael Melcherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01297275080951139132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317144.post-16392001412828091932007-08-28T18:18:00.000-07:002007-08-28T18:19:16.850-07:00Dare to be peppy!When I was in business school, my friend Polly and I decided to name ourselves the two peppiest people at the Stanford Graduate School of Business. <br /><br />We did this not because of our inherent Pollyanna natures or our uncritical admiration for all thing b-school; quite the opposite. We made this decision because we recognized we were in danger of falling under the sway of cynicism, and still had the clear vision to see that this would not be a good thing.<br /><br />MBA students are very peppy. They are high-energy, can-do people. Compared with, say, law students, they focus on execution more and analysis less. <br /><br />When we started business school, Polly and I felt different from the mass of b-school students, and one of the ways we felt different is that we were skeptical of jump-on-board group activities. We felt proud of our critical faculties. We understood the world. And its difficult complexities. And its iss-shoes. More than others, anyway.<br /><br />But then we realized that critical faculties can come at a cost. We found ourselves holding back from what we were experiencing, and from what we were contributing. <br /><br />So we decided we would be the two peppiest people at Stanford business school. We also decided that our most dreaded class, Cost Accounting, was actually our favorite class. “Are you ready to study for our favorite class?” one of us would ask. “Omigod, I can’t wait to get started on our favorite class!” the other would reply.<br /><br />Sometimes it was difficult to fulfill our mission. Polly went on a study trip to Chile and Argentina with a group of b-school students. “Let me tell you,” she wrote. “It is quite a tall order to be the peppiest person amidst a group of people who are getting up at 6 to go jogging in downtown Santiago. Extreme levels of peppiness are in evidence.” <br /><br />Other times, people were not so supportive of our peppiness. When we started something called The George Stephanopoulos Fan Club (this was in the early Clinton days), and created our own fanzine, Stephanoupou<span style="font-style:italic;">letter</span>, just for fun and the prospect of fame, some of our classmates thought we were incredibly witty and creative fun, and others thought we were kind of weird. It sure opened us up, though, and we even got into <span style="font-style:italic;">People</span> magazine.<br /><br />Deciding you are going to be the peppiest person in your environment really does change the way it looks for you. You choose one path – positive energy – over another – detached analysis. You pull open the shades and let the light pour in, even if it might bleach out your expensive carpets. <br /><br />In certain professions – law comes to mind – deciding you are going to be known to be peppy takes courage, since peppiness is not always a culturally smiled-on characteristic. But try it. It gives you options, and you might like it.Michael Melcherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01297275080951139132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317144.post-24749306275885522282007-08-09T16:43:00.000-07:002007-08-09T16:55:11.237-07:00Achieving Career Happiness by Being Gay on the InsideOne of my clients works for a big, fancy firm. It’s the kind of firm that people who went to Harvard go to if they want even more Harvard in their life. <br /><br />This particular client has dreams besides being one of a thousand employees of a highly branded business, but he is not sure whether he will pursue those dreams. Setting off for the unknown involves risks and the benefits are uncertain. <br /><br />Recently, he pondered aloud to me, “I wonder if the reason you’ve made so many career transitions is that you’re gay. I mean that in a good way. One of my siblings came out the closet recently and then completely changed her career. Once she made that big break from convention, other breakthroughs were possible.””<br /><br />I nodded sagely, as I sometimes do. “You’re right,” I said. “Career change is probably easier if you are gay. A big part of coming out is recognizing that you are not going to get acceptance and approval from everyone, including in many instances your own family. So you develop a basic undertanding that what you truly want and need may be quite different from the world’s expectations of you. If you naturally expect a certain amount of rejection and befuddlement from the world, they don’t fase you as much when they happen.”<br /><br />“In addition, coming out is a process of sorting out your adult self, and understanding how that’s different from the childhood image of what you thought you were going to be. When I was twelve years old, I thought that success would involve my becoming a lawyer, getting married and having kids, and being elected to the U.S. Senate. When I realized that some of those things were not going to happen in the way I imagined, it freed me to envision how all the other aspects might be different too. Accepting that you can’t be like everyone, and may not even have the same options, can be very freeing.” <br /><br />“Conversely,” I added, “if you fit in too easily, you may never explore who you really are beneath the acceptable exterior.”<br /><br />My client nodded, somewhat sadly, silently reflecting on the ways that he is like many others in the particular demimonde of affluent professional New York—married, white, earning a good salary, working for the well-branded company. And therefore, somewhat trapped by expectations.<br /><br />“But don’t worry,” I assured him. “You can be gay on the inside.”<br /><br />“Really?” he said brightly. “That makes me feel much better about everything.” <br /><br />Anyone can be gay on the inside. It just requires three things: (1) consider that you might be different from the way people think you are; (2) consider that you might be different from the way you think you are supposed to be; (3) be willing to accept that other people may disapprove of your choices, and realize that their approval doesn’t matter all that much anyway. <br /><br />Get past those things, and you can start thinking about what you really need to be in order to be your true self.Michael Melcherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01297275080951139132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317144.post-80697944596797221202007-06-23T17:27:00.000-07:002007-06-24T13:02:48.171-07:00Extraverts can be great writers, tooPeople know me as an extraverted person. I get energized by being around people and doing things in the world. When I think of my favorite foreign trips, I inevitably imagine myself walking in large exotic public spaces surrounded by throngs of people. Once in college I talked for eight hours in one day. You get the picture.<br /><br />Because my extraversion has always been so clear, I have often wondered whether I am the right kind of person to be a writer. Writing usually happens when you are alone. It requires a lot of concentration. It takes a long time to get the words down, and then to edit them into the right shape. You can talk over ideas but at some point, you need solitude. Lots of it.<br /><br />While introverts are 25% of the population, I am pretty sure that a significant majority of are introverts. Introverts’ personalities are streamlined for the process of writing in the same way that super-studly Olympic champion Michael Phelps’s body is streamlined for the process of swimming. <br /><br />Introverts rarely have resistance to the notion of spending time thinking by themselves or working by themselves. For instance, my partner, who is a law professor, is an introvert. He spends his days happily working on legal scholarship. Ten hours after turning on his computer he is still at his desk, the only signs of physical movement an expanding set of empty coffee cups.<br /><br />That is just not me! I can sit still for maybe a couple of hours, max. And even then I need to indulge in various kinds of self-bribery, most of which involve food.<br /><br />And yet—my whole entire life I have been drawn toward writing. As a 12-year old in California, I typed 150 pages of a novel (it was about a 12-year old character named “Michael Melcher” who lived in a townhouse in New York City and went to a special school for millionaires’ children). I’ve continued writing, on both serious and wacky topics, ever since. Several years ago I wrote a <a href="http://www.thestudentbody.com">novel with three other people</a> (about a student prostitution ring at Harvard), and I just wrote <a href="http://www.thecreativelawyer.com">a self-help and career-management book for lawyers</a> (which is … a self-help and career-management book for lawyers). Plus articles, travel emails, crazed letters to the editor . .. the whole nine yards.<br /><br />My urge to write has persisted. Writing is not the thing that makes me most <span style="font-style:italic;">comfortable</span>, but fulfillment and excitement are rarely about comfort. When I do it, writing makes me very happy in a very unique way. <br /><br />So now, instead of wasting any time wondering whether writing is really me, I focus on creating the workarounds that enable me to write—I have lots of clever tricks (more on those, later). <br /><br />All this kinda makes me wonder how many of us put off pursuing things that excite us because they don’t seem to fit. Instead of just making them fit. <br /><br />There are a lot of masterpieces of all kinds waiting to be created. What would it be like to make them happen, rather than pondering the reasons you might not be able to?Michael Melcherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01297275080951139132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18317144.post-29710156510569030982007-06-12T09:10:00.000-07:002007-06-12T09:25:48.152-07:00Hassle me, please!My friend <a href="http://www.happiness-project.com">Gretchen Rubin</a> just turned me on to a new site, brilliant in its power and simplicity!<br /><br />It's called <a href="http://www.hassleme.co.uk">"Hassle Me"</a> and, basically, it bugs you at particular intervals to do things, like go to the gym, pet the dog, or take a moment to get out of your head and enjoy life. What I love about the idea is that it's a way to build in MINDFULNESS–at those prearranged moments when you are being bugged by the reminder, you remember what it is you are trying to focus on.<br /><br />This is basically part of what I do for my clients, albeit in a psychic, non-computer way. They internalize the Michael Melcher voice who occasionally peeps up in their unconscious, "oh, I need to use my positioning statement" and "oh, I need to call person I've been trying to reach" and "oh, Michael Melcher says I'm allowed to treat myself to something fun when I do something that's hard so I'm going to buy flowers for myself and also get a massage and also have chocolate." <br /><br />I will let you know how it goes. I'm going to focus on "eat fresh fruits and vegetables" which apparently is the key to all happiness.Michael Melcherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01297275080951139132noreply@blogger.com